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ItalianoDear Fake Doms
| After an interesting conversation with a couple at AfterWork in Västerås, reading another person's post here about DS not being BC, following the news about the Cornell 7 and a man in my inbox who thinks it is completely appropriate to write "Om du vill ha besök av en hårdhänt maskerad man så är det bara att säga till 😏" because I simply liked a picture he posted here. I feel like I want to address the issue of the amount of "Fake Doms" that are lurking here and the importance that people understand Diversia is not BodyContact, rather a safe and inclusive platform for people outside of societal sexual and relationship norms, to connect with others who are also not part of the norm, so we can discuss various aspects of our lifestyles and identities, as well as be able to offer affirming support and education. I spoke to a lovely couple on Friday who have many years experience in a D/S dynamic. I asked them, "Would you agree that the submissive is the one with the ultimate power? As they are the ones who set the boundaries of which areas and aspects of their life they are choosing to give control to their dominant." I asked this question, as I have encountered so many "doms", who start power tripping and think they are the ones who get to decide over me including my own boundaries because they're the dom. The answer I received back from this couple was rather insightful and did leave me corrected, as they also put emphasis on the importance that the dominant partner also sets their own boundaries as to which parts of the submissive's life they are comfortable taking control of. I think of those, especially submissives, who are new to the scene and are here to learn; but instead end up with an inbox full of these Fake Doms and potentially traumatised by a play session because they weren't properly educated beforehand. It's quite terrifying. Education is KEY! And while this isn't exclusive to dominants, as a switch, I have also encountered submissives who try to coerce me and push my boundaries; but in my own experience, they aren't as many and this post is aimed towards those in a dominant role. I will address the issue of submissives overstepping a dominant's boundaries in another post. Dear Fake Doms, BDSM is NOT a front for CIS hetero men to hide behind, who just want to boss a woman around and have rough sex. BDSM spans every gender identity, sexual orientation, and role reversal imaginable. BDSM is NOT a concept you can take to justify entitlement, control, or abuse. BDSM is a consensual space for psychological play, self-discovery, and vulnerability, allowing individuals to safely explore power dynamics within negotiated limits. BDSM is NOT a framework of dominance to exert unearned control while discarding the duty of care towards your partner that comes with it. BDSM is an intentional partnership built on clear agreements and trust, where the dominant's primary role is to safeguard the play session so the submissive can safely explore vulnerability. BDSM is NOT a free pass for entitlement, nor is a title an excuse to demand unearned obedience. BDSM is an ongoing test of earned trust, obedience is something you are given when you have proven to be an emotionally mature and safe person and can be revoked at any time. BDSM is NOT a one-way street of gratification. BDSM is a mutual exchange where the dominant bears a strict duty of care for their partner’s physical and emotional safety as well as their pleasure. BDSM is NOT an excuse to ignore basic safety, anatomy, and risk management in the pursuit of a thrill. BDSM is a discipline grounded in SSC and RACK, where understanding physical risks, psychological impact and informed consent is the mandatory baseline before any scene is mutually agreed upon. Yours sincerely, A submissive who is fed up of receiving messages from entitled boundary overstepping men claiming to be dominants. Xo |
Tillagd igår 14:11 Debattartiklar om sexualitet och identitet #Man #Kvinna #Man som top #Kvinna som bottom #Vår kultur #BDSM #Dominant #Undergiven #Sadist #Masochist
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