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ItalianoCongratulations, he wants to fuck you
| The Slumflower on Instagram (towards the end.) "We have conflated sexual validation with actual general human validation, in the sense that for a lot of us, when we have sex with men, we feel this sense of "I matter". Someone has selected me as worthy of partnership, even if it's just sexual. Someone is aroused by me, even though I have a body that I don't necessarily like. You know, there are women who have body image issues and how they overcome those body image issues is through sleeping with men. They feel like, "ok well, if this man has a hard on for my body that I don't really like, then that must mean my body is good. Maybe I am pretty."" One of the most genius, oppressive, controlling devices of patriarchy is highlighted in this quote, and it's not nearly talked about enough. The fact that things like "beauty culture" systematically destroy the confidence of women from the very start, and the only way to get temporary relief from the feelings of shame and inadequacy, is through the validation of having sex with men. That's not accidental. Make women hate their own bodies, and then make male desire the only thing that can temporarily quiet that hatred. It's fucking brilliant. And unbelievably effective. What makes it even more dangerous is how invisible it is. John Berger once wrote, “Men act, and women appear. Men look at women. Women watch themselves being looked at.” (Ways of Seeing, 1972). And this is exactly that. We learn to see ourselves through the male gaze so completely that we lose sight of our worth outside of it. And so, we perform "sexiness" for them, hoping it will buy us back our worth as human beings. But of course, it never does. And it never will. |
Tillagd idag 11:05 Debattartiklar om sexualitet och identitet #Samhälle #Vår kultur
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